PhPresent

11 Nov

Been feeling a longing in the pit of your stomach? Can’t quite keep your mind on the job as it flitters from place to place like a moth on acid. Been caught in reveries whilst gazing upon mustard yellow spreads in magazines? Been listening to Tinie even though you hate his music?

 

Yeah, I had heard you have been missing me! But it is ok! I am back, I am full of blog ideas and I’ve got some excellent new additions to my now infamous wardrobe to show you all in due course.

 

But fear not, I missed you all too! So at the bequest of our resident punk I got you all a gift from Lanzagrotty. Now Louise requested tat, so from day one I began to browse, magnets, bottle opener, cuddly camels, beach towels, t-shirts, beach bags and the like. I had settled on a collection of horrible shell braclets, knowing you would love them and I could write some excellent blogs on what to co-ordinate with them. However I had no euros, because being as poor as I am, I relied on my parents for everything for a week, it was like being 8 again; waiters in restaurants looked baffled, who was this grown woman sponging off her parents, do they offer her wine? or ice cream? should her drink come with a straw?

 

So I returned back to my parents who begrudgingly said they would give me 10euros later if I went to the shop and bought some fanta and some bread and some bread substitute I could eat. So browsing around the shop looking for something without wheat I came across this.

Motherland

 

This is the cheese of the motherland! Briefly I was confused and I wondered had my parents drugged me and taken me to the Isle of Man rather than Lanzarote as they had told me? No, I was definitely in Spain, no shop selling both beach accessories, German romance novels and food would exist in the Isle of Man. This is an excellent cheese so I was notably excited! Instantly I knew there could be no better gift for you all than Manx cheese brought to you via Spain and Lanzarote.

 

Note here that essentially this is the same cheese packet on sale in God’s Own Land but with a Spanish sticker on the back, so my Spanish friends can know they are buying 200g of extra mature cheddar cheese from Ballfletcher Farm, made of cows milk dont’cha know (not unicorn like you might have presumed)!

 

Closer inspection revealed (and this confirmed my belief that this was the perfect gift for you all) the Spanish version of my cheese proudly proclaims itself to be Gluten Free (unlike the Manx version, which bares no such mark of purity). I know how much you all hate gluten like me.

 

You can expect delivery of  the cheese next week!

 

Time Wasted on this post: 15mins.

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